Sometimes I wonder what it would take for a woman to love me. Not the polished version of me I imagine in my head, but the real me—the man who spent most of his life alone. The man who looks back and sees an empty dating history because he chose school, work, and endless tasks over his own happiness. I floated through life in survival mode, telling myself I was building a future, while deep down I was missing out on the years that were supposed to be the most fun, the most alive.

I have ideas about love—what it should look like, how a husband should show up, what kind of father I want to be. But they’re just ideas, borrowed pieces from books, podcasts, and other people’s stories. I’ve studied love like a subject, but I haven’t lived it. And even with all that knowledge, I can’t shake the fear of letting her down… the fear that my inexperience might make her feel unseen or unloved.

That’s why patience would mean so much. A woman would have to know that I’m doing my best, even if my best looks a little clumsy at times. Not only would I be learning how to love her, but I’d also be learning how not to be alone anymore. How to trust that she’s really here by my side, not just for the good moments but also when my doubts creep in. How to believe that my worth isn’t tied only to my work—that there’s purpose in laughter, in quiet mornings together, in holding her hand just because.

There are things I don’t know. I don’t know the natural rhythm of sharing a life with someone. I don’t know how to lean into the small, ordinary intimacies that couples create—inside jokes, soft touches, the comfort of silence. I don’t know how to relax fully, to let go of control, to allow fun to take up space in my world without guilt. These are things I’ll need to learn, and I know I won’t always get it right the first time.

But here’s the beauty of her patience: in loving me, she won’t just be gaining a partner—she’ll be awakening a part of me I’ve never known. With her, I’ll discover that life isn’t just about survival; it’s about connection, joy, play, and love. With her, I’ll learn to slow down, to breathe, to smile more often. She’ll get a man who doesn’t take her for granted, because after years of emptiness, I’ll recognize the gift she is.

I may not come with years of experience in love, but I come with sincerity, intention, and the deepest desire to learn her, to grow with her, and to build a life where she always feels valued. All I need is her patience, her grace, and her belief in me. And if she gives me that… then I know she’ll also get the best of me.

– Image by Vincent Walker